Circling Back Around To Help
Thoughts On Spreading Virtue
Once I heard that the average age of entrepreneurs is 38. I probably heard it in a Molyneux podcast, maybe about 7 years ago. Something happens at that age.
At age 38, I find myself at a crossroads in life.
Recently I was living on my farm in Montana when I decided to sell it. While the area was lovely and highly desirable and the neighbors were even better, the whole thing wasn’t sitting quite right. I still can’t articulate it all the way. I needed to get right. I wanted to leave the place.
A smaller part of it was a persisting thyroid issue which, as it turns out, was partly responsible for the explosive creative output I experienced for the entirety of my 20’s and into my early 30’s.
I figured that out a month before leaving the farm and its large studio to new owners.
Funny how that works.
With family in tow, I’ve been this way and that while bringing a fixer upper back to life. It has been a time of quiet. Not solemnity. I went through a ton of dreaminess last year in 2023 and now I’m in a corresponding time of focus and concentration.
I had a weekly show for years that brought lots of engagement in. The results were great and with handy dandy philosophy in the toolkit, lots of people’s lives have been touched. I keep seeing people who I introduced get married and have babies in loving homes.
Now I’m back in Eastern Oregon for the winter. This is where I grew up. I’ve lived 26 years of my life in Oregon. So much of my cadence and manner of being springs from this place, not to mention my childhood experiences growing up here. What a blessing that was.
I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do next.
I do know that I’m “circling back around to help”. That phrase hit me at the exact right time.
I was way out on a limb when that phrase hit me. I was partially convinced of something that wasn’t true.
I notice a lot people who can’t climb out of their delusions. There’s something so pivotal about people’s late 20’s where they, 97% of the time, compromise in some fundamental way. They lie to themselves. The stumbling block seems to repeat again in the mid to late 30’s.
I really wanted to get away from that. In my personal life, I have. But societally, the effects of child abuse, where people’s fundamental adult compromises set in stone, are impossible to escape.
I thought I could get away. This was one of the grand lessons I learned this year. The more free you get, the more you just bump into new iron bars blocking the way.
Something good is building up in me. This is the reward for saving my soul, once again. Someday I’ll speak on the exact details.
My work in the world has continued unabated. What I’m describing here in this write-up is a sea change in the background. I have always embraced the creative destruction that comes with being an artist and a philosopher. Creative destruction, in my view, is the only path forward. But it will twist you up with uncertainty. Better to live with the results till the uncertainty is done with you. Why fight it? Why try to forever remain the same?
I’m glad to be back in the Fatherland for a while longer. This is a good place to think. We’re headed to a mansion on a hill, not long from now.
Some answers are coming in. I’m trying to listen attentively and think long and hard on what I hear. Lots of conversations are being had. It’s called “RTRing”. A rough outline is taking shape. My sense is that this will continue for at least another 6 months. So be it. If you’ve been behind the paywall, you’ve heard some of this.
As you get older, you have to say “no” to more and more “options” in life.
Everything will click into place. It always does.
Very beautiful essay ❤️